The Power of Pressing Pause: Why Taking Time for Yourself Isn’t Selfish—It’s Essential

If you’re one of my clients, you’ll know I’m almost obsessed with encouraging you to take time out of your day to just STOP!

And when I say stop, I don’t mean taking time to have a quick drink of water or cup of tea (that you don’t even finish) or squeezing in a quick lunch while replying to emails. I mean truly, intentionally pressing pause - stepping away from the noise and focusing purely on you.

Putting yourself first!!

If you are already engaging in therapy or thinking about seeking help or are just having a look for some tips to improve your general wellbeing this is for you!

Why Do We Need to Stop?

Modern life is fast. Days blur into weeks, weeks into months, and before we know it, we’re running on empty. We juggle responsibilities, relationships, deadlines, and expectations —often without noticing how depleted we’ve become. And if you’re also navigating mental health challenges, this constant motion can feel even more overwhelming and exhausting.

That’s why carving out time for yourself isn’t a luxury - it’s a lifeline and it’s essential

By deliberately planning a break in your day (not your lunch break—that’s for nourishment!), you give yourself permission to recharge. This isn’t about productivity. It’s about presence. When you pause, you: -

v   Renew your energy levels helping you to feel refreshed

This renewal can even make you feel more productive during the rest of your day

v   Improve your mood

If planned it can give you something to look forward to and after taking a break it can reduce stress and potential burnout and even improve your self-esteem (this is because you start to recognise that you are an important person in your life and you have needs)

v   Think more clearly

It’s a great way to help you make good decisions. By taking a break, it allows your brain to process issues subconsciously. This can stop you getting stuck in a loop and help you come up with new solutions.

v   Begin noticing the difference between feeling relaxed and feeling stressed

A vital first step in managing any anxiety and/or low mood.

And that last point is key. When you start to recognise how your body and mind feel in a relaxed state, it becomes easier to spot the early signs of stress, anxiety, or emotional overload. That awareness is powerful—it’s a first step towards emotional self-regulation and healing.

If you can start to notice the difference in the way your body feels when it is relaxed and when it feels stressed, long term you will be able to notice the change earlier. Then you will find, with the right techniques, you can change the way you feel more easily.

How to Make It Happen

Let’s be honest: you’ll never find the time to do this. You must MAKE it.

Here’s how:

v  Get a calendar and plan ahead 

Treat this like an appointment with yourself - an important one you must keep.

v Block out at least 30 minutes

Protect that time! It’s precious! Don’t let anyone else fill it.

v When the time comes, STOP!

Whatever you are doing, pause. This is your time

What Should You Do During Your Time?

This is the fun part! The image of someone meditating might come to mind—and if that’s your thing, go for it! But you don’t have to meditate. This time is about doing something that brings you joy and/or makes you feel good

Try this:

• Make a list of things you enjoy—or used to enjoy but haven’t done in ages.

• Add things you’ve always wanted to try but never got around to.

• Include anything that feels beneficial or just good! Yes, even if it’s just lying on the sofa watching your guilty pleasure show.

• 
  

The only rule… It should be something that feels good to you.

What Happens Next?

After you have taken some time for yourself, take a moment to reflect.

Ask yourself:

How do you feel now compared to before?

Do you feel more grounded?

Less tense?

A little lighter?

Some Helpful Tips: Start Small, Change Big

At the risk of being boring I'm going to say it again, taking time out for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s ESSENTIAL. If you’re trying to build a self-care habit, here’s a simple way to begin:

Start small. Try every other day, or just a few times a week.

Build gradually. After a few weeks, you might notice you miss it when you skip it. That’s not laziness—it’s growth. It means you’re forming a healthy habit that’s quietly transforming your life.

Remember:

• If you find that you aren’t enjoying your time, try something different

Also..

• If you are struggling to think of something to do ask your family and friends what they would do?

And a reminder that anything goes! Walking, reading, crafts, TV, gardening, games, pampering… anything at all…

And if guilt creeps in (as it often does), remember this:

• You can’t pour from an empty cup.

  
  

• Running on empty weakens your immune system and makes burnout more likely. And when you’re unwell, all those “must-do” tasks? They don’t get done anyway.

So, take that pause. Breathe. Recharge.

Because looking after yourself is looking after everything else.

And a little word for those who have children or others that they need to care for….

I can hear the cries now … “I can’t even go to the toilet on my own!” … I know it's so tough, I’ve been there…

You can still do this. It will take a little bit more thought but here’s a some suggestions...

If you have friends with children or who are carers maybe arrange a bit of a swap -- you take their care responsibilities while they have half an hour / hour. Then they take your responsibilities while you take your time.

Or perhaps

Do something with those you care for that doesn’t take much supervision, watch a film together, or a pamper session is wonderful, children love taking care of you given the chance so maybe they could brush your hair, massage your hands, you can all soak your feet in a bowl with some lavender, a nice little walk or a picnic… the possibilities are actually endless.

But just remember that this is about YOU! Something you may like. Remember if you don’t enjoy what you have done in your time don’t do it again but don’t give up, try something new in you next appointment with yourself.

So, make a small start today

And enjoy your time

And a final word.... this may not change your life but it's a very good place to start. If you are finding that it's not enough and may need to be part of more widespread change and support please drop us an email at North Wales CBT.

Clair